He came home last night. We sat by the lake and talked lightly whilst the radio played nearby from an open car door. I asked if he was bored to which he quickly returned “Not if I’m with you”.. We have a smooth operator here it seems. I guess I was expecting some kind of romantic ode to nature and the lake and how we should do things like this more often..That is more less what page I was on anyway. He needs “constant stimulation” he says. I don’t know what I need. We are different in so many ways, a fate that has always worked to our advantage until recently. It’s raising questions in the both of us. Uncertainty. We take turns on being terrified and consoling the other. We have grown impatient. But four and half years is nothing compared to the rest of our lives. I’m trying to put that into perspective. This is nothing. The time has come to grow up and face the reality of human nature. It is unreasonable to expect perfection. It is unreasonable to expect disaster. Love is such a tiny little word that doesn’t justify such a feeling. My feet are not cold, but rather clammy and sticking to the surface.